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If you are from Montreal, there is a good chance you love your Montreal Canadiens. You have your favorite player’s jersey on, you have the flag thingy on your car window, and yet you wonder, “How can I do more for my team?” If history tells us anything, it’s that there is no stopping Montreal fans in their pursuit of proving to the world that they love their team so much, they are willing to do anything to show it.

In just five easy steps, you can become an embarrassment to Montreal fans everywhere and make us look like complete morons to everyone else in the world.

5. Make the Spike.com list of annoying fans

In October, spike.com published an article featuring the Top 10 Teams With The Most Annoying Fans. Montreal Canadiens fans were number 9. Why?

“Years ago, Montreal fans decided that instead of supporting their team or bathing on a regular basis, they would prefer to torment their best players and effectively eliminate themselves from Stanley Cup contention every year. They made Patrice Brisebois, a homegrown blueliner who won community service awards, leave town in tears and recently decided the best way to foster their young, superstar goaltender (Carey Price) was to boo him relentlessly to the point where he looked like he was going to have a mental breakdown during the post-series handshake.”

Indeed, we are so horrible sometimes, we made Carey Price pull a Patrick Roy following mock cheers from the crowd as he blocked a routine shot from the blue line, and we made General Manager Bob Gainey call us a bunch of gutless bastards for booing Patrice Brisebois in September 2003. If you were responsible for any of these events, congratulations! I’m sure your players loved you for it.

4. Boo your own team

This is a really fun one to do, because it proves you know more about hockey than anyone else, because HOW could they be playing so badly?! Never mind that we are not even one month into the regular NHL season nor that our team has a brand new face and is just working to get the chemistry just right. If your players lose two games in a row, boo them every time they make a bad play. It will encourage them to play better and they will thank you for it. Kyle Roussel of NHLdigest.com asks the following question: Should fans boo their team?

“Booing your team gives the visiting team an edge, it shows a lack of class and it shows the rest of the players in the league that the home town fans are about as supportive as underwear made from wet toilet paper. What is the attraction with booing your team? Do these people honestly believe that their negativity will bring about change, whether through improved performances, or personnel moves?”

The awesomeness of this technique needs not be explained, Kyle.

3. Disrespect opposing team’s national anthem

This can be done two ways: Either boo while the opposing team’s national anthem is being sung, or chant GO HABS GO to drown it out. Now I know Bob Gainey appealed to you to stop booing the US national anthem during the 08-09 playoffs against the Boston Bruins, but by booing, you are showing your unwavering support for your team AND your native country. Because we all know how many Québécois are proud to be from Canada right? Bruins fans clearly have it all wrong.

2. Act like you’ve won before the game is over

This is how you do it: wait until your team is up in the game but DON’T wait until the game is over to start taunting the opposing team. Start singing something incredibly rude and arrogant to prove your supremacy. Most opposing teams will feel intimidated by your brazenness and simply give up. A great example of how this technique works is this year’s Halloween game between Montreal and Toronto, where fans started chanting Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye when the Habs were up by two goals. We won, didn’t we?

1. Riot

Nothing quite says “passionate fan” like rioting. What’s awesome about this is you don’t even have to wait until your team wins a Stanley Cup; you can trash the beautiful city of Montreal if, say, they eliminate another team from the playoffs and advance to the next round, as was demonstrated in the 07-08 season playoffs. I mean, look at how much FUN they’re having! Plus, since most people are wearing Habs jerseys, you just know it’s real fans who are doing this.

So there you have it, mes amis. No matter what you do to show your support and no matter where you are, make sure you are the loudest, most drunk and don’t forget to proudly wear your bleu, blanc et rouge so that people everywhere recognize you and know instantly that you’re a Montreal Canadiens fan and that we’re the best fans in the world.